Underaged part II

Ok, I had that conversation with the individual about the text messages and his responses. So he showed me his text responses to his cousin. I must say that in the context it cleared my conscience somewhat. Then he said he would call the parents to inform them that the  girl text him so often. In addition he would talk to the girl and explain to her why it's inappropriate to have that type and frequency of text.  

Second scenario follow up:  individual cleared up the air by explaining the situation of the ex who's not an ex.  He's  the kind of person who would offer a shoulder to cry on so I guess after they were together seven years ago, they stayed friends and they are randomly having conversations about her current situation. Well,  we'll see what will happen. 

I heard from an astrologist that mercury is on his rebound, that indicates that we are reflecting more on our past and current relationships.  That made more sense to me why I've been so critical the last two days :( ....

Anyone noticed that they were evaluating or assessing current and past relationships last two days? 

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Underaged and Friends with Benefits

Ok check this scenario:  

Grown man late 30's, has an almost 16 years old cousin who text him all day with foolish text messages, but some of the message are somewhat provocative. To give an example: he refers to her as "my cutie kat", she confides she has a crush on him, she wants to live with him, he is not against it but wants her parents approval. 

Prior to these facts, I teased this individual with his "crush" on Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana.  He liked a song and after that I teased him and bumped him Miley's #1 fan.  He responded that by time she's 21 she thinks he's too old.  I think if he had said ; gosh noo... a 16 year old girl... but his response was that he wouldn't be interested because she might fall out of love with him due to the age difference not because he's not attracted to underaged  girls. 

Am I too critical?

Ok, Second scenario:  Individual was once involved with a girl and they were "unofficial" for a year. Unofficial means friends with benefits because she was not his girlfriend.  The ex calls him before 9 am in the morning, late at night, for hours this prior to her nasty separation. According to him they're are just friends and that they broke up before even though they were not official, because they were always fighting. I'm not saying you cannot be friends with your ex, but this ex wasn't an ex. This was a friend with benefits, plus  the ex told her soon to be ex husband that this individual and her were never an item leading him to think that the individual is gay. Apparently the ex has, according to her own inner circle,  problems with separating fantasy and lies from the truth.  Now I'm I too critical to think that based on these facts, that there is a possibility that there's more going on between the ex aka former friend with benefits and the individual?

Ok I need your advise on this.......

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

head

Received a reminder from one of my friends regarding a wedding ceremony we're suppose to attend SATURDAY!!!!  

Gosh, I don't know about you but a girl needs time to choose her dress, coordinate the accessories, schedule an appointment with my hair stylist, and nail artist. Make arrangements for the babies..... 

Men are simply not thinking to give a girl a heads up. They think "head down" ... I get it .... gosh I have two days to make sure I look fabulous...... how fair is that???????!!!!

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Labor day weekend

My Maman passed last week and unexpectedly I became the new mother of her baby M.

 M. is four years old, and flew to the US on Friday. She's adorable but doesn't understand a word English.  So far so good, I miss my Maman more than I can express but having  M. here makes up a lot of my sadness and pain.  This weekend I had a back to school BBQ to attend.  Bud had other plans, so I decide to invite one of my best friends to join me. The host was my former PI at my grant via Howard University.  It started at 4 PM but G picked me up at 7:45 PM and I was pissed about that. On top of that we got stuck in traffic and when I called  the host at 9 PM the BBQ was already over. Although I was livid with my friend G. we still managed to have a good time eating ice cream and have dinner at a new restaurant in Montgomery County. 

Next day M., Vlindertje and I went for a stroll and at night Bud and I  had dinner at a Jamaican restaurant. The next day Bud and I attended a cool B-day party and a BBQ and had Jamaican food again. It seems that the time is too short when Bud and I hang out. 

Today we'll hang out again with the babies lol and I do hope you have a great time today as well. 

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Behind schedule

Today I intended to catch up with a friend of mine. He's an actor and model passing through DC for a TV show,  trying to chill with me and for some reason today was just one of those days I'd like to stay in bed. 

Behind schedule.............It took me hours to get to my destination, after cordially exchanging information with a former coworker,  an individual at a venue tried to catch my attention by touching my hair. Needless to say that Angry Asian Cookie honored her name. 

Further behind schedule....  I met with an associate to coordinate an upcoming event. Although I was excited to meet with him, I was running late for my rendez vous with my actor friend.  I decided to call him for a heads up, but my phone wasn't charged, therefore unable to reach him ......... I received a *&&@@&#%%##%  text message from him 

Further behind schedule ........meanwhile I had to pick up Vlindertje... my silk skirt was torn apart while i was rushing through the park (a short cut) to her school) and when I finally stumbled in the school's auditorium the heel of my shoe broke off.... Vlindertje was a bit grumpy (too much sun, and she didn't drink her water) so on our way back home we were arguing about her homework. 

WHY I WAS BEHIND SCHEDULE

This particular morning I had received a call from my friend and neighbor, who moved to VA. She'd asked me to bring some of her moving boxes in my house. Her boyfriend [with whom she'd moved in with] accidentally designated a few boxes as garbage and left them on the sidewalk. At 6 AM I tried to bring these heavy boxes inside my house. When I came home from a long day with a ripped off shirt, my neighbor was outside. She told me I could keep the boxes because she wouldn't need them anyway.............

Her cry for help and my assistance was the main reason I got off track with my time schedule today and then you tell me you don't want the content of those boxes anymore..........

Ok, does this make any sense at all??????!!!!!!  Bad planning on your end shouldn't crunch the time schedule on my end....next time I stay in bed.... 

Hugzzz Dahlings,

angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

My best friend's wedding

To all my readers,

My apologies, I neglected my blog and there's no excuse. My life has been a roller coaster. I've been involved with the development of a great new magazine with focus on improvement of love, sex and relationships, In addition, I had to make some though decisions both professionally and personally. But I'm back to share with you some of what's been going on.

First things first, King, DD and Persian and I are still friends but after my best buddy and I started to date I realized how foolish I've been. He was there all the time, right before my eyes and I never considered dating him. It was confusing and awkward in the beginning thusly I had my guards up of course. A best friend doesn't equal a  great partner. Hence my absence on my blog, because I felt it would be unfair for Bud to post about my experiences. 

We are still exploring the opportunities, very cautious and open. He's the best thing ever happened to me. We always connected tremendously but since we started dating, we seem to connect even better. Our pillow talk takes hours and hours - each day. And every time we both regret ending our conversation to actually go to bed. As we spend more and more time together, we realize how special it is to have your best friend as a potential partner. 

I'm afraid - yes you read it well - afraid to lose my heart.  It's almost too perfect that I try to find reasons and insecurities not to engage or pursue this relationship.  The last week I have nightmares about his wedding, after watching my best friend's wedding.  What if I don't open up? What if he got what he wanted and I'm a ship passing through the night? He's the most beautiful person on the inside and out I've ever met. We're soul mates. I discovered that our heart's beat at the same rhythm. We think of each other and than call each other at the same time. And we always done that, but now I see it

Well, time will tell. I loved this man before we started dating and now we are dating I'm afraid to love him more....

Life is such a bitch

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Dining out

Tonight I'm dining out at the DCs Waterfront with a close friend and after that we'll probably go out dancing at Park or Fly.  I was scheduled to attend a social event [cocktail party] however the event planner specifically  requested me not to bring a male friend... he expressed the desire to have my full attention. After considering the pros and cons, I decide to be loyal to my close friend. I'm sure our eve will be great!

Enjoy your weekend!

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Nostalgic

Last night  my friend from Europe flew in, and we decided to bring back some of our memories which included some of those with my family, grad school, and music. My brother Dr.H was a major fan of Duran Duran in the 80's- as a little girl I listened to the more usual children's songs at that time. However, if my memory served me well I could still remember how my brother grooved on some of his albums. My friend and I chilled and listened to yep Duran Duran.. and I have to admit I now appreciate this music. Although I'm primarily R&B fan, the Duran Duran songs are pretty cool. I reminisced about my friendships and suddenly I thought of how much I missed my home and family. Normally, due to my busy schedule, my social life here and frequent contact with my family I don't feel nostalgic but yesterday I did. It was a chocolate moment and this morning it still hits me. Maybe also because DD questioned me and  I realized that my roots and culture prevents me to act as is expected here in the US. 

It brought me back to memories of my girls when we were at school, and had crushes on pop stars. It brought me back how I worked so hard to obtain my graduate degree; how I use to dance at night in the rain on a warm summer night; how I use to share with my Papa our love for politics, the beach, the sea, the needy families; and neglected animals. And I realized how much I still am Asian/European. This morning I felt as if I didn't belong here. Holidays here in the US are sometimes though for me. Yes, my family flies in as much as possible, I travel to Europe often but normally I would simply step in the car drive to my parents and enjoy their company. My Papa and me would hit the golf court or ride our horses when we felt like it. The activity by itself was always fun but the bonding in the moments are priceless. 

Its memorial weekend and Vlindertje and I are together. Nothing wrong with that however, I wish I could crawl into my parents arms, and just sit there and be a child again. Maman would comb my hair, and my Papa would take his guitar and sing. I would sing with him and we would have a wonderful time. I miss my family more then I want to admit. When I spoke to King the other day I envied him in a healthy way, he was preparing for Memorial Day to have a cook out with his family. 

Today vlindertje and I will stroll in DC and I'm taking my camera to capture our family moments for her. I'm not the person who dwells to long in sorrow but learns from situations and feelings that occur as today. We'll bring our memories with us and make some more. Meanwhile I'll continue to listen to Duran Duran an remember how silly my brother danced on it. enjoy a wonderful Memorial Weekend 

Hugzz

Reflections

This week Vlindertje and one of my friends had their birthday. We threw a great party, and had dinner at marrakesh restaurant. The company was great and I had the opportunity to eat traditional Moroccan dishes. In Europe I had the privilege to meet several Moroccans and enjoy their hospitality. Once invited to a Moroccan dinner party I fell in love with the Moroccan Cuisine. Moroccan dishes are traditionally consumed with freshly brewed sweet mint tea, and the foods allows you to eat with your fingers.

Eating with your fingers is sensual experience to me. I love feeling the couscous on my fingers and lick the ingredients of my fingers one by one. At Marrakesh you are provided with silverware however I decided to eat my food with my fingers. My dinner mate kept on staring at me, and then mentioned to be cautious hence the effect on the other customers watching me enjoying a perfectly cooked meal. Naughty as I am, I teased my dinner mate and we had a blast. Later on we decided to take a stroll and nearby I decided to tap into an ATM machine. My dinner mate then removed me from the ATM - he felt it wasn't safe. When we walked back half an hour later, we witness police officers and a crime victim at the ATM whereas I was about to perform an transaction. The Angels were definitely guarding us that evening.

My brother had obtained a membership for me at an international club and I'm attending some events scheduled in June. I do look forward to meet minds of quality and enjoy great cultural exposure. I'm sure I'll report back about these events later on. Meanwhile it kept me thinking of Fitness Guru and his numerous attempts to find vehicles to network and ultimately marry bridezilla. I started to compile a message that I tried to disseminate via MySpace;Facebook or yahoo however I discovered that he deleted me as a friend. Revisiting my attempt to reach out to him and remain friends after my assessment to determine he was not my cup of cake, I believe it takes a strong person who values people and willing to appreciate another person's value without expectations. I cannot be his partner, but I can be a friend. Friendship to me is the baseline of any type of personal relationship. I'm not sad about his actions, because I believe that people I meet along my journey all have their value. I respect their choices, and hope that they continue to have a wonderful journey themselves.

Enjoy your Memorial Weekend !

updates

For the last couple of weeks I have neglecting my blog simply because I'm swamped by work, and social networking. A lot has happened.but most significant is that my best friend has admitted to have a major crush on me for awhile; King and and I growing and closer to each other; Fitness Guru - who I have been advising on his career adventures - has expressed to have a "distinctive plan" after a negative interview outcome; King and Tyrese are not on speaking terms.; I discovered schickdreamsdate a site I think everyone should visit.

So where to start:

My best friend and I

Have you seen my best friends wedding and Made of Honor ? well, I should have auditioned for it. *sigh*

My best friend and I go along way; he and I are very comfortable together -that is I would change clothes in front of him; I tell him about my dates; my crushes; we gossip together and so forth. He's a girlfriend in a men's body and I'm totally not attracted to him. In fact I never considered him a sexual being - isn't that a terrible thing??!!! Now check this out: last week we were chillin' and King called. King and I were fooling around on the phone - just having a blast. And my best bud's face was getting darker and darker. I told King that I had to hang up to chill with my best bud. I sat down and ask him : Bud - what's going on - you know you cannot hide anything from me. Your face speaks for itself. So make a confession, let me listen to what's up and we figure it out together how to eat this elephant!

Well, my jaw dropped when he started to stutter and telling me that he had been crushing on me since we met.

Bud: Angry Asian Cookie I don't know how this is effecting our friendship but I can't go through with this anymore.

Angry Asian Cookie: Go through with what? can you be more specific?

Bud: Angry Asian Cookie we both are close and our friendship is amazing but I have grown to love you.

Angry Asian Cookie: Of course Silly I love you too... You know that.. You don't have to worry about that!!

Bud: Angry Asian Cookie you're not hearing me; I'm in love with you. I want to kiss you, hold you and make love to you.

I want King to go elf himself and have you for myself. I want you to look at me as a partner and not as a buddy. I fantasize of us and you. And I have been keeping this to myself because I don't want to jeopardize our friendship. On the same note it's tearing me apart to see you in love with King. And I can't handle it anymore.

Angry Asian Cookie: " Oh" ...... Bud I had no idea... I mean .. But you... How... Hmmm well... uh,... OMG... what do you want me to say?

Bud and I parted that evening. We still hang out, we still text and call but everything has changed. I don't feel comfy anymore undressing while chatting with him. I don't share my King stories to the extend that it might hurt Bud. And I try to avoid any physical contact. Unfortunately, it did change our friendship because I don't want to hurt his feelings more then I probably unintentionally did. I regret not seeing this coming. I would have been more sensitive and cautious.

The Closer I get to you...

Despite some of my blogger friends and other readers predicted I'm still very much in luv with King. We are communicating more intrinsic and we are growing closer and closer. He is a bit impatient and I can't blame him. We are scheduled to see each other next month. I keep teasing him on the phone just to hear him laugh, act silly [which is not that hard since I'm Bridget Jones' twin sister] The time differences are creating huge sacks under my eyes but the last thing I want to hear when I fall asleep is his voice. He's becoming my heart's joy. Each day seems so fabulous - and every time he calls my hearts skips a beat and I produce this silly grin on my face. Yep, she's still very much in love! 

Fitness Guru career adventures 

Fitness Guru and I have been chatting mostly about clubbing and his career advancement. Fitness Guru is on a mission; he wants to get married and for that he believes clubbing is instrumental. Where Fitness Guru is located - according to him - is not much to do. Hand in hand with finding Bridezilla, goes his career advancement. With his current employer he has reach his ceiling and he wants to buy a house; fix his car; buy a ring; pay for the wedding with the unidentified Bridezilla; and date. Now dating is expensive according to him. He expressed his growing frustration when he was up in my area took me out for dinner and I had decided that he and I were no match but, I had indicated that staying friends would great. Fitness Guru mentioned that he didn't want to hear about my friends and I had no clue how much effort and money it had cost him to get to DC and take me out for dinner without accomplishments the projected results : a relationship with me.... I offered to assist Fitness Guru with finding his dream job. To me this means planning a strategy and target your efforts instead of ineffective applying for jobs. Fitness Guru obtained a BS in marketing but after assessing his knowledge, and experience I doubted if he would be able to step into even an entry level position in that area. If you are not even remotely aware of the main principles of marketing, write your own cover letter. resume I doubt if you can step up to the plate of positions that would generate the type of income he has projected. Secondly, his most solid experience is in Fitness. His knowledge of budgeting, strategic planning et cetera is not even on an average level. I advised him to either gain more knowledge by taking some course work or focusing on his experience and strength. He felt somewhat offended when I asked him more specifically how he would do his job search, net working and so on. He told me he had a plan but couldn't talk about it by chat, because I typed to fast. When we finally got on the phone, I asked him again, so tell me what's your plan and maybe I can give you some suggestions or feedback. His plan was to search for jobs.........Well, we already had establish that.. sounds like a great plan..... Back to the clubbing; I go out in DC and hit some of the clubs around M and K, or U street. Park; Josephine's; Fly; to name a few. Fitness Guru suggested if he could hang out with me and my friends, to find Bridezilla. I was carefully letting him know that going out in DC with my friends is not the cheapest way of clubbing and gave him a head up of what my normal expenses are when I go out. He got really upset and then cut me of chat. Fitness Guru to me is too much obsessed with finding a bride; very anal behavior - instead of just having fun, let life happen, be happy with yourself and then you might attract some great women who are interested in you for you. Spending money you don't have is not the most attractive asset a man can offer. If I were him I would hit the gym and do what I would do best and attract a lovely young lady there. Or maybe go out for dinner in an all you can eat buffet ; something that's affordable for you....Does that makes sense???!!! 

Tyrese and King 

King and Ty have some sort of a beef going on, and it's a pity that childish behavior or insecurities have such an impact on people. King thought is was kinda cute how I had this thing going on for Tyrese. It was more focused on his music and inspirational side of his personality as oppose to his romantic side of his personality. But I started to hold back in general after deciding to focus on King. King apparently is more sensitive for my interaction with Ty then I suspected. When we spoke about King's new movie project I wondered if he would included Ty in it for one of the characters. His response was - no chance in hell. Oopse...after explaining his reasons why, I understood his point of view. I guess what King told me was not news to me; but not so much on the surface for outsiders. In my opinion certain display of behavior is childish and not very attractive. then again. it has nothing to do with me. !!! It has been quite a week, King is chillin with friends and planning his trip to see me, and I'm still working hard on moving to CA. More about those developments later. 

Dragon Confessions

Last night I was invited to a social event in one of DC's hottest places to be www.dragonconfessions.com.

Erwin is the sweetest and a very talented young man. There was a DJ present ; a fantastic fashion show and I had invited one of my friends who I have been working with professionally www.jezign.com. In the confession booth I made some unbelievable confession - I had so much fun with Rafael who was the MC/ camera coordinator. i stick-ed to the virgin cocktails and they were absolutely delicious.  While partying I had a manicure and my eyes done - I thought I deserved it after such a long and draining day. I had no chance to change my outfit for the party so I was pretty casual but wearing my sexy white boots. Of course I couldn't walk on them but hey who cares .. lol

Both King and DD were texting back and forth about the event and it felt good that they were supportive about my plans for that evening.  King is opening up so much that it makes my heart sing. I'm wrapping up in DC and it feels good that I have a future in CA and maybe with King. 

I was gushing over King with Fitness Guru when he told me again I was playing the field. I was shocked he still perceived me as a player. His perception is founded on the fact that we went out and after that I wasn't really interested in pursuing a relationship with him. He couldn't be further away from the truth. In his opinion I like being single and want to have bites of several cookies. Maintaining a friendship after assessing you and an individual are not compatible is in my dictionary not playing a field. The option of a relationship is closed, but I don't see why we cannot be friends. Having many friends who have some what of a crush on me, this is not a exception. Does that make me a player? I don't think so.

As a matter of fact, ever since I've been in love with King I don't like to be single because I now know what it is to miss a companion when he's not around. And I miss him when we don't speak with each other. I'm planning to see him for a weekend, it would do both of us good. We haven't seen each other since the end of January. I also want to visit and hang out with DD

I have to confess that I do enjoy DD's conversations but I'm committed to King and the sense of belonging is strong. I don't get tempted to explore DD further then what we have now but I know he's mature enough to handle that unlike other's...

Back into the KINGdom

The Tornado not only hit in our area, but it also hit me like lightning when I text King about the tornado. he immediately called with a sincere concern in his voice.
The entire night King and I spoke - actually it was him reassuring me that everything was going to be alright. When Vlindertje and I finally fell asleep, I later on saw that he had not hang up the phone until minutes later. This morning 7:00 am EST, he checked in on me again. He confirmed he listened to my breathing until he was sure I was fast asleep before he hang up. We text messaged during the day. But the highlight of my King experience was when we spoke for 2 hours about us. The intensity and the purest connection we both acknowledged and felt, is amazing. Have you ever met a person who can finish your sentences because your minds are similarly configured? Have you ever met a person who can close his eyes or not physically see you, and tell you exactly what the expression is on your face when he talks to you without words? Have you ever met a person who, wants to built castles and dreams with you for the sake of the future without dwelling in the past? I have, and that instant moment, I knew what I knew deep in my heart for months - King is my soul mate. I was scared and that distracted me from what was staring at me from the day we met: a beautiful, creative and loving soul who understands my desires and weaknesses because he recognized them in himself. A soul who can search and reach beyond the means of believe because he'll create what he wants to be created. A person who is true to his values regardless what the world requires of him.


I'm back on track to my KINGdom, and I'm planning to stay there 'till eternity....






Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Signs of Love Making

I've been twisted between feelings (emotions) and thoughts (rational) for a while.  Those of you who've been regular readers of my blog, know by now I have developed strong feelings for King. Via Blogcatalog I became acquainted with DD. Although we've never physical met, we have great conversations and we are creatively collaborating on a new writing project.  On my birthday - April 8Th. All my friends had spoiled me to death, my brother threw me a surprise birthday bash, he invited the needy children in a close by community, and we donated money to my favorite charity, In addition my Maman flew over, that was a huge birthday present.  Both DD and King were thoughtful enough to acknowledge my birthday and it made me smile. Persian and I met a couple of times, and I feel so connected to him.

As Fitness Guru once said Angry Asian Cookie: you are a man in a woman's body - you treat man as man would treat a woman.  And he might be true, I am falling for three man at the same time. But I must admit if I encounter all the rational reasons and make an analysis [as if you can calculate love] this would be the outcome

Parameters	King	Persian	DD
Age	good match 38 vs 29	28 vs 29 not sure if it work	43 vs  29
Astrology Sign	LEO [July Leo]	LEO [July Leo]  (same b-day as LION!!)	Libra (possible mis-match?)
Distance	DC-CA	DC	DC-CA
Communication	Smooth-Easy-Fun-Sexy	Smooth-Easy-Fun-Sexy	Smooth, fun sexy  but with minor restrictions
Chemistry	WOW	WOW	Not Sure
Intellectual compatibility	Amazing	Amazing	Good
Chivalry	Very Masculine	Charming Masculine	Charming and Thoughtful
Parent Skills	Mind blowing	n/a	good parent
Creativity	Very much and focused	in his job and @volleyball	Very much and inspiring
initiation	somewhat slow unless he feels he can come to the rescue or I'm endangered	Each day	very thoughtful

I know deep in my heart that Libra's and me don't work in the long run. I also know that a man should be willing to participate in Vlindertjes life. Creativity is an essential part of my life, which make King and DD a much better choice then Persian. For now and developing a relationship Persian has the best opportunity to come closer to my heart- he lives close by. King is somewhat laid back and leaves the communication initiative to me unless he feels he can be the protector or when he feels DD and I talk too frequently for his taste.  Although it's too early to make a definite choice, I feel I cannot continue with these mixed feelings. I like all of them for different or similar reasons. Deep in my heart I hoped that King and I would have hit it off already and if we had, nor DD or Persian would even had a chance. So there's something that's holding me back.  Persian is relatively young - at least younger then my usual preference date.  I've onl dated African American men before I met Persian, but that is not an issue for me anymore. If I would fall for Persian then he and I would have to deal with a long distance relationship because I'm in the process of moving to CA. 

I never met DD in real life, and my experience with online dating is not that great. In fact it has been an disaster.  King has close relationships with his family, in fact his brother lives next doors and so does him Mom, No chance in hell that he will ever move from there. King also has a list of admirers and in his occupation he is/will facing a lot of temptations. Everyone knows that in the entertainment world marriage and relationships end as fast and easy as a google search lol.  I also know he has traditional and very conservative ideas about relationships which are quite reassuring. 

All the signs are out there. it's a matter of doing the math and go with my guts. i cannot continue to be shattered all over the place. It's unfair to them, to me  and I'm ready to answer to the Signs of Love Making.  

If anyone has any tips to make my decision easier ??????

Update!

It's been awhile that I've been posting messages on my blog for several reasons:

• all my laptops,  and PCs either crashed, died or malfunctioned;
• my efforts to repair a fairly new laptop was journey to hell - thanks Gateway;
• I was dealing with multiple challenges at the same time

Dating Up date

    Persian

Lots has happened. After my reunion with Persian, that same weekend I didn't contact him. I can tell you this - I had his business card in my hand on Saturday and Sunday but didn't had the guts to pick up the phone and dial his number. I consulted my friends Mos, Camy, and Dr. H and all advised me to call him.  I felt confused after our kiss and my feelings for King. 

On Monday I decided to call Persian. Before even picking up the phone, I practiced what I would say  when he would pick up the phone. It was so pathetic that I even wrote down what I intended to say. I almost felt as a high school girl. When I finally had the guts to call' I was redirected to his voice mail. I'm ashamed to tell but I hang up the phone. ohh.. it was  sooooooo girlie and immature. 

The second time around, I managed to leave him a message:

Hey Persian - this is Angry Asian Cookie. As promised I would give you a buzz. I hope you had a fabulous weekend and I look forward to hear all about it. Please do give me a call back after retrieving my message.

After five  very, very long minutes, my cell rang:

Persian: So you finally decided to pick up the phone and give me a call?

Angryasiancookie: Hey Persian ... good to hear from you.. sorry Persian that it took me so long  to get back at you.

Persian: I'm glad you did. It's good to hear your voice - it compliments the image that I have of us kissing...

Angryasiancookie: uhhh. well uhmmm ehhh..

Persian:[chuckles] Are you blushing? and looking for words..? Amazing - you're never without a wit response.. you look cute when you blush

Angryasiancookie:  uhhh well uhhh I'm not blushing..

Persian: sure you're not.. 

Angryasiancookie: can we change the subject to your weekend??!! How was your weekend?

Persian: My weekend was great; I was expecting your call though..I had a birthday party; danced; coached my  volleyball team to the qualifications. And you? Did you think about me ?

Angryasiancookie: oh, that sounds like a great weekend...yes, I thought of you briefly.. [ahh why did I say that?!!]

Persian: briefly? Oh that's my ego dropping on the floor....

Angryasiancookie: you're silly 

Persian: that indicates that you and I should spend more time together. Do you want to grab a coffee later on today?

Angryasiancookie: I'm at Busboys... as we speak

Persian: I can be there in 10 

Angryasiancookie: ohh no - don't stress your schedule let's meet another time

Persian: I want to seize the moment and kiss you.

Angryaasiancookie: but I'm not dressed to meet you.

Persian: good-  no clothes are necessary,  but hmmm you created a killing field of men out there didn't you?  [chuckles]

Angryasiancookie: you're nuts - I meant I'm wearing my professional and boring attire..

Persian: Baby .. with or without clothes it's you I'll see. Be here in 10 

Persian hung up the phone. 

Persian and  I met and we did kiss again. I felt awkward and yet blissful. I thought about King Then I told Persian about King and my developing feelings for him. I also shared my growing friendship with DD. Persian responded with: " Angryasiancookie: I don't see a ring on your finger but do admire your honesty. Let's take it one step at the time". I have no intention to lose contact with you and I want us to connect and be close friends.".

When we left the establishment I was still a bit confused but I smiled all day.

Mos responded - after I shared my  Persian experience -:"Maybe this is karma, and should you stay in DC".  Persian and I continued to see each other; about that later. 

  King

Although King and I don't talk on a daily base like DD and I. When we talk it seems as if I'm talking to myself, like as twin souls. The engaging conversations are as warm streaming water caressing my body; his voice is soothing; our souls simply connect.  Our relationship approach is simultaneous which makes our interaction smooth and understanding. I did tell him what happened with Persian.  He responded that he wants to visit me, and we should anticipate on my relocation.  When I was robbed last week - about that later- he was livid and so concerned. He checked in on  me the whole evening. It was so endearing while I'm writing this piece he's in Vegas at a marathon and trying to assure me that I will never have to be afraid again when he's there to protect me. Now how can I not melt for that??? 

DD

DD and I speak almost every day. He writes just like me and we started writing jointly on a children's book. He's so sweet, creative, caring and intelligent. How can I not like him?

Books and other Updates

 My poetry is scheduled to be published within two weeks. When I was on the radio with Alan Currie, I met Bennie Randall on the live chat of the show. Bennie and I started to communicate and I shared some of my poetry. Bennie gave me some great advice regarding the publishing of my books.  I would recommend you to take a look at  www.bennierandall.com.

He has interesting material posted on the site.

Ton

My friend Ton passed last week. I was fortunate to celebrate his life in Milan. He will always be my Angel. 

Virgo

Virgo and I never met but we do chat and talk on the phone a lot. The last few times he insists that we should meet but to be quite honest with you, I have my hands full with DD, King and Persian. Virgo is cool though.

Fitness Guru 

I have kept my distance with Fitness Guru. Primarily because he's too nice and we simply are no match. He once mentioned I was clueless regarding men; and I was like a man in woman's body.In addition I felt as if he felt some resent after we met - mentioned that he had to jump through hoops to see me that one time. I feel bad about that, but I cannot help my feelings. In fact I don't feel any connection at all other then a platonic friendship. He called the other day after sending me a text.  When he mentioned he was staring at a picture of my lips and how they would fit his ...... I tuned off, when he mentioned he was extremely excited, I had to end the conversation. It's hard for me to deal with an awkward moment as this one. 

Laptops, Pcs; Ipods

All my laptops and my desktops died at the same time. My efforts to get them fixed were unsuccessful. After my experiences with the customers service of Dell and Gateway, I decided to buy a new Mac. And I love my Mac!

I'll never write about my previous marriage or my divorce and I'll keep it that way. One thing though: I had an apple Ipod and I had bought one for my popper ex as well. After the divorce I found out he had switched my Ipod for a fake version and sold mine. It was not a big deal, if it made the popper happy so be it. With my Mac I bought both me and Vlindertje an Ipod. I'm struggling with the transition of data from my old tops and desk soon I'll be able to listen to my music again. 

I'll keep you posted now I'm back online!

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Persian

I had an internal dialog if I should post this story or not but it's part of the dynamics in my single life and dating experiences. In one of my first posts, I'd shared about an [one-date] experience with a younger men/boy. I also expressed on several occasions to have a very strong dating preference for brothers. I vouched never to date younger again; and never to date other then brothers. My Maman always tells me: never say never.

Last year May I met an young attorney via a business associate. At that point I was not dating, or even remotely interested in dating. I could not ignore that this attorney was stunning; intelligent; sweet but I wasn't interested and focused on other priorities. He gave me his business card, we spoke a couple of times and exchanged some emails but lost contact. On Wednesday, I bumped into him again while I was in Maryland for a meeting. We couldn't stop smiling, and hugging- it was so good to see him. He's still breathtaking gorgeous, charming, and so extremely sweet that I cannot believe I ever lost contact with him. There was this older lady that watched us sitting on a bench talking; she came over to tell us she loves to see a young couple in love. Of course I blushed, and had no clue where to look. Persian [the attorney] smiled from ear to ear, and told the lady that we were very much in love. After she left Persian looked me deep in my eyes and said: "It's Karma, now we have to fall in love". I looked at him, and it suddenly strikes me what a wonderful man he is. Everything is against all odds - if I have to take my my dating preference in consideration:

1. He's Persian and not African American- my dating preference;
2. He's one year younger then me;
3. He has a lean body type and I normally prefer large or men with some extra pounds

I'm pretty guarded, and very shy around men but holding him and being hold by him felt incredible. He made me melt even more then Lion. He held my hand, and surprisingly I allowed him to do so. He said: "You never left my heart, my thoughts and you're even more breathtaking then in the last dream I had of you". Normally I would bitch that "I did not give you permission to do that", but for some reason he made me speechless. He has this fresh scent, and beautiful brown eyes [with the longest eye lashes you can imagine] so wide open that they provide a mirror to his soul. Talking to him is as easy as with King. Oh, Gosh King... I cannot think of him now. Persian and I talked for hours and we both lost track of time. I rescheduled my appointments for the day and he took the afternoon off. We talked and held hands until 7 PM.

When we had to go home, we both felt shy and awkward. Then he said: "I think we should honor the old lady". Before I could respond he KISSED me so tender and soft that I almost fainted. We kissed. KISSED. You might think: Ah, so what??!! I don't kiss on the first date, that only happened once. He does not meet my dating preferences but totally swept me off my feet. I mean TOTALLY. And now I'm confused. Where is this going?????????? What about King? What about my growing interest in DD? I'm relocating to CA; just finalized the details. How is an infatuation for Persian effecting my projected plans. It's absurd.

This is why I hesitate to publish this but if I don't, there will be a gap in the dating and life story of Angry Asian cookie. He gave me his business card again;wrote down his number and told me to call/email him this weekend. I'm sitting here staring at his card- should I call him or not. Should I, Should I ... oh, what should I do...

My Maman advised me to call him, so did my brother. It's midnight here, I mailed and text King; text DD and I'm sitting here pondering with total confusion about Persian. Beautiful and so sweet tasting Persian. What should I do........Maybe I should call Shabooty to ask him for advise; he might even know him.

Huggzz Dahlings

angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Birthday Count Down

Hey.. any plans for your birthday? My Virgo friend asked me today if I want to have dinner for my birthday. Birthday.. Birthday???! I completely forgot about my birthday. My new assignments, my other obligations, Ton, DD and King have been on my mind. Not so long after Virgo's call, Caribbean catched up with me:

Caribbean: Angry Asian Cookie, what are you doing on Tuesday?

Angry Asian Cookie: Not sure yet Caribbean. What's up on Tuesday?

Caribbean: isn't that your birthday?

Angry Asian Cookie: Ahhhhh.. it is on Tuesday... Not sure yet, maybe I'll take Vlindertje out. To be quite frank, I haven't given it a thought yet - you are the second person asking me this..but I squashed it away.

Caribbean: Let's go out for dinner.

Angry Asian Cookie: Let's discuss that later tonight

Camy: Snookie, I was looking into flying over to DC and spend some time with you on your birthday.

Angry Asian Cookie: oh, that's so thoughtful of you. I'm not sure yet what I'll do. But I'll let you know. Don't book a flight yet, ok Camy?

Dr. H: Paris, Boston, Amsterdam where do you want to go to on your birthday?

Angry Asian Cookie: don't know Pansje. I might want to spend it at home or ask Maman to fly over

Dr. H.: it's your birthday Papillion. I'll call you tomorrow for your final thoughts.

Besides Vlindertje and Maman, I would want to spend time with King on my birthday. Great to hear that my friends want to spend time with me, but I want to be with King. Tonight I'm flying to Milan, to meet Ton and his man for a crash visit. I'll be back for my birthday, and continue to post on this blog while I'm in Milan. King doesn't call/text and email me that frequently anymore. The distance is becoming an issue for him. In addition: our last conversation regarding DD, also made him shy away a bit. Leo's in general don't like to be teased with the thought of other players in the room. They insist and demand full attention and here's the thing: I long to provide him my full and focused attention however everyone knows when you do, you become less attractive to the guy because the hunt is not as challenging anymore; why are men so complicated??!!

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Player

After I spoke with DD last night about our mutual interests such as work, I had a conversation with Fitness Guru. Fitness Guru and I met via a dating site a while ago, and we are still communicating. After meeting him once I felt that he was not a good match me. He's a darling but not for me. I like the more dangerous guys, who are creative, mysterious and intellectual on the same page as me. I switch into friendship mode after the first meeting. Now and then I ask him for advise regarding men or situations I'm in. Camy has been such friend and so is Samsonite. Today Fitness Guru asked me if I ever thought of it how sharing my stories and issues with men, might be selfish. And I was a bit taken off guard.
"Did it ever occur to you that even if you're in friendship mode and talk about the guy that you're interested with another male friend, this male friend might not want to hear about it. He might want to be with you. while you are gushing over another guy.." so did Fitness Guru say. "Did it occur to you that you - Angry Asian Cookie - might be a man in a woman's body? You treat men as men would treat women.. You go out on a date, then when their interested in you, you're not and you move on. The ones who treat you as garbage, you feel attracted to them, but the regular Joe cannot capture your attention"

OMG. am I a player? If I revisit my dates and the men I feel attracted to, I must admit I do feel attracted to men who are inapproachable, dangerous; exciting and don't pay me much of attention. The guys that bore me are showering me with attention, phone calls, sweet talk et cetera. Or they are temporarily chasuble but when they're emotionally attached to me, I'm not interested in them anymore. King is far away, he's not calling or mailing me 24/7, our status is still insecure although he mentioned he looked forward to make a baby and love the baby and me a lot. And shortly after he told me that, I found myself remotely interested in DD. Camy has been in love with me since I had piggy tails, but I was never interested in Camy romantically because he's too kind.

Am I a player? Am I? Now, I need to eat some chocolate.. I'm confused.


Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Jealousy

I spoke with Camy, one of my closest friends [see my first post on this blog] We catched up and spoke abit about the recession in the US. He told me CA has a deficit of over 4 million, and then adviced me not to relocate to CA... I had to give it a thought. And when I did, my phone rang and my new acquaintance DD was on the other line. DD lives in LA and is person who can hold an engaging conversation; he's interesting; intelligent; creative; funny and has the talent to actually listen to me and my verbal diarrhea. Actually I like him, our conversations last for hours without getting bored. Why are the cutiest men, in CA???? He invited me to visit him in LA and I might do that to be honest with you.

When I spoke to King last night and we spoke about his movie career, it crossed my mind to introduce him to DD. I heard this little voice telling me; You play with fire but Aries girl here decided not to listen to her inner voice. King was interested in DD's background, and then asked me: Do you think he'll be jealous of me? And it put a little smile on my face.. I responded with: Of course he will darling, who wouldn't you're sooo sexy. Remember, a Leo needs the admiration and Aries love to stroke a Leo's ego and purrr. He started to laugh out loud and my heart was jumping up and down again. He has a wonderful smile. After we hang up, I felt so good about our conversation, First and foremost because he, and I are so much on the same page regarding relationships. It's amazing everytime again..We're both not in a rush but at the same time we are..

This morning I text DD because he crossed my mind, and it was a bit odd because I almost felt as if I was cheating on King. He and King do have much commodities occupation wise, and creative aspects; their passions and so on. And DD is a good listener. Am I playing with fire? I know King would not be amused if I would have intense conversations with DD. Still, I like DD and to me there's nothing wrong with that.






Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

To Be or Not to Be

King and I talked last night and this morning. Although I have been chatting with a few new acquaintances, he manages to keep me intrigued by sharing bits and pieces of what's going on in his life. I still haven't figured out how, and if I want to deal with the madness of his professional and personal life. I'm flying to Milan but will be back next week. Ton's Spirit is leaving soon thus I do want to be close to him [and his boyfriend] when his Sunset arrives. It appears as if King understand that it's key for me to fly to Milan, but the underlying feeling is that he believes I should fly to CA and be with him prior to my Milan trip. For me it's impossible to accommodate his wish. As much as I desire to be with him; spend time with him-the reality is that I have Vlindertje; and other immediate issues requiring my attention. Of all people in the whole wide world, I'm falling for a guy who momentarily lives thousands of miles away. Are we both solid enough to-for starters-, maintain a long distance relationship?

I try not to call him each day or each moment he's crossing my mind. With every moment of joy, or a new experience, warm rain falling on my face; music that lift's my heart up, or when I receive a text from him- I want to tell him how much he means to me, and how hearing his voice makes me smile; how much I long to share every little accomplishment and moments of joy with him. I hope one day I can tell him how the thought of his hands holding the curves of my waist make me shiver; how my thoughts of him are nourishing the curves of my mind, and how he inspires me to dream, write and love again. Oh, Silly Bridget Jones.. Am I soliciting for a heartache?

I don't want to hold back, but I don't want to smother him with my emotions and feelings either. Why do we have to think about feelings and the consequences of our expressions for the appropriate "launching" of feelings and emotions? What about spontaneity? People who are close to me, are surprised how cautious I am with King. This, normally fiery and blunt Angry Asian Cookie, seems to be tamed by the King. Or is it my subconsciousness telling me: If he's the real deal - this only happens once in a life time - Fragile Caution handle with care ....

Do you guys have any idea how hard this is for a girl with Aries in Venus; Sun;Mercury; and Saturn??!! To Be or Not to Be that's the question?

Meanwhile all I can do is look at his picture's

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

The Heat is On

Did you notice the change of weather? Spring is in the Air! Spring is my favorite season for several reasons: the trees are blossoming; the air is filled with the sweet fragrance of the wild flowers and the sun; and people smile more often.


On occasion I wonder if the change of seasons make men's hormones change gears along with the change of seasons. For example:

7:35 AM
1. Walking down the street, a man asked me how I'm doing; I respond friendly and another business card is provided with a request if I want to join the individual for dinner. I decline and the individual still insist on taking me out for dinner. I refused again; the individual starts to sing me a song and embarrass me in front of the public. I walk into the closest breakfast bar and lock myself up until the coast is clear.

8:14 AM
On the phone with associate whom I have known for several years without ever one hint of romantic expressions. Individual starts whisper that he woke up thinking of me and was wondering if he could join me to Paris next time and have a romantic walk along the Seine.
Luckily for me after reminding him that I never mix professional and personal life, he stops hinting about an romantic rendezvous and gets grumpy.


10:22 AM
Receive an email message from an individual I haven't spoken with for a year. He asked me if we can catch up soon. In addition he hopes I'm still available. Individual is normally very guarded...

12: 09 PM

Start Belly Dance Work out after eating my salade. King sent text, telling me that today I'm the sweetest mama and his princess. He remembers how his hands fits the curves of my waist and how his thoughts of me curves his mind. King is very expressive but not that explicit via text. I wonder what triggered him to sent me the text. I did like it!


3:54 PM
Friend sent me a raunchy ecard via Facebook with two people having intercourse on top of two M&M letting me know he was thinking to try that out with his girlfriend, asking me for advise regarding the temperature in the house and the melting point of M&M's. He continues into the details, which made me decide to delete the post

4:11 PM
Dr. H. calls, asking me if I can fly to NY to cheer up one of his Ivy League buddies who needs a hot woman on his arms for a social function since his wife suffers from a diagnosed social disorder of verbal diarrhea hence his inability of bringing her to this occasion. After 30 minutes of listening how terrible the budd's life is, I tell my brother I will give Ivy League a call. I call Ivy League and he picks up the phone - we casually talk before I hit the chaperon issue when he starts crying. His blurbs sound like: cold nights... she only wants to talk... lonely... talks about negatively about his parents and their sex life in public ... how he gets a h.... even when he thinks of his..... mother... Ok, that's the moment I drop the phone out of my hands and ask him if he could repeat himself. Yes, he tells me that he even fantasize about his mom.... Ivy League tells me, I don't have to worry about a dress; f I could wear one of his mom's favorite dresses to the Gala ball that night. This is the point where I tell him we're off. I wonder if the wife knows about the Oedipus complex. I call my brother and inform him about my decision. He's in shock.


6:30 PM
Call from the person who by accident received my text with personal picture that was intended to hit King's mail box. He asks me if I would consider to have drink with him, because it's such a wonderful evening. I not only told him no, I asked him not to call me again. Gosh, major embarrassment.

7:00 PM
Pick up Vlindertje from dance class, one of the dad's casually talks with me and then asks if we can do a play date next week in Olive and Garden. I frown and tell him that's not a place where children can play and have fun. He agrees and says that the playdate would be for him and me.....

8:00 PM Back home from work out. After Vlindertje has gone to bed, I take a bath and reflect on my day and wonder.... what was going on with all these men today????????? Was the heat on???????? Is it the Spring that impacts the hormones??? Although Spring is my favorite season, I do hope this will not continue all Spring.



.





Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

My Personality Type is ENJF

I did the Myers-Briggs test awhile ago, and I'm sharing the results ENJF.

The Visionary Idealists called Teachers are abstract in their thought and speech, cooperative in their style of achieving goals, and directive and extroverted in their interpersonal relations.

Learning in the young has to be beckoned forth, teased out from its hiding place, or, as suggested by the word "education," it has to be "educed." by an individual with educative capabilities. Such a one is the eNFj, thus rightly called the educative mentor or Teacher for short. The Teacher is especially capable of educing or calling forth those inner potentials each learner possesses. Even as children the Teachers may attract a gathering of other children ready to follow their lead in play or work. And they lead without seeming to do so.

Teachers expect the very best of those around them, and this expectation, usually expressed as enthusiastic encouragement, motivates action in others and the desire to live up to their expectations. Teachers have the charming characteristic of taking for granted that their expectations will be met, their implicit commands obeyed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has extraordinary charisma.


The Teachers are found in no more than 2 or 3 percent of the population. They like to have things settled and arranged. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead of time and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. At the same time, Teachers are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data with little pre-planning. An experienced Teacher group leader can dream up, effortlessly, and almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in, and stimulating roles for members of the group to play. In some Teachers, inspired by the responsiveness of their students or followers, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. Such ability to preside without planning reminds us somewhat of an Provider, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups.

Providers are natural hosts and hostesses, making sure that each guest is well looked after at social gatherings, or that the right things are expressed on traditional occasions, such as weddings, funerals, graduations, and the like. In much the same way, Teachers value harmonious human relations about all else, can handle people with charm and concern, and are usually popular wherever they are. But Teachers are not so much social as educational leaders, interested primarily in the personal growth and development of others, and less in attending to their social needs.

Mikhail Gorbachev, Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Ralph Nader, John Wooden, and Margaret Mead are examples of Teacher Visionary Idealists.


Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Don Lewis about DMXs Pistol .....

Don Lewis to Angryasiancookie

Took his M-F'in Guns!!???
That sucks.

At last. A 'coming together' between a black New Jersey urban rapper and a white Idaho rural blogger.
Let the dialog begin.

Angryasiancookie:

I'll be there as a secondant. of course I have to measure all the heavy machinery first......
*smile*


Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Miles on DMX: What the F*** is a Barack

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: miles noreply-comment@blogger.com

Date: Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 4:31 PM

Subject: [Angry Asian Cookie Dates 365 Days In DC]

New comment on DMX : What the F**K is a Barack??!!!!.

To: angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

miles has left a new comment on your post "DMX : What the F**K is a Barack??!!!!":

I had just heard about this recently - it's pretty funny - it also demonstrates why Rappers should NOT be held up as Role Models in the Black Community.I don't think you can get enough Disclaimers - MTV should run disclaimers anytime a rapper is on television : "this person is not an informed citizen, and is only an entertainer, please do not try to be like this person. be your own person instead."What's sad is often these rappers are the ones you see on T.V. - these are the ones who get movie roles, and are

interviewed by magazines - they are propped up as role models, whether

they express interest in being one, or in not being one.So, without disclaimers people begin looking up to them, and forming ideas that follow, theirs.But ... these are not the people to follow.

Posted by miles to Angry Asian Cookie Dates 365 Days In DC at March 24, 2008 1:31 PM

Miles I totally I agree with you. I laughed out loud after reading the article, but it is sad that a role model such as DMX apparently has no clue who Barack Obama is and in addition feels violated b/c of the raid for weapons in his house. I read in another interview they also found dead dogs and numerous Pitt Bulls without water and food in his house that was raided. He has not yet been charged for animal cruelty.

To be quite honest with you as a very young teen I thought DMX was the hottest Rapper in the scene. Reading about public life [such as arrests, DUI and so forth],to me he lost all his hotness. Sure he is physical attractive but common' you cannot ignore his personality...

Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

DMX : What the F**K is a Barack??!!!!

I cannot stop laughing. This article is tooo funny....


This is a copy of the interview taken from http://www.xxlmag.com/online/?p=20332



DMX: 'What the F**k is a Barack?!

'10 votes ? by Kev Kharas Artists:
DMXWords: Kev Kharas Posted: 19 Mar '08, 15:43

It's been a while since we dropped in on DMX… what's he up to now, we ask ourselves, on seeing this thread pop up over on the left-hand side of our front page?

For anyone who doesn't read the boards, the rapper was interviewed by XXLMag.com last Friday (14 Mar) on various subjects – among them the continuing presidential race in the US.

Before that though, XXL asked DMX about what he's been doing since the release of his last new studio album Year of the Dog… Again in 2006.
"Life," replied the Baltimore-born rapper, real name Earl Simmons; "I been up to that. It's been crazy.
Fuckin' police keep on fuckin' raiding my house and shit for nothing. Sounds pretty shady, Earl. Really, for nothing? "They took all my fuckin' guns." That'll be the guns, then. "All they did is take is take my guns. All they fuckin' do is fuck my house up and take my guns. That's all they did. Straight robbed me—that's what they did."

On, to the presidential race and the very real possibility that a black man may be elected to run what's probably still the world's most powerful country for the first time, like, ever 'n' shit.

While DrownedinSound isn't suggesting that DMX has to have an opinion of any kind on the sole basis that he too is a black male, you'd expect the man to at least know the names of the prospective candidates. Surely? No? OK.

Again, the following exchange is taken straight from the article at XXLMag.com.

- - - Are you following the presidential race?

Not at all.

You're not?
You know there's a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there's Hillary Clinton.

His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.

Barack?! Barack. What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.

Barack Obama? Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain't no fuckin' name, yo. That ain't that nigga's name. You can't be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You're telling me you haven't heard about him before.

I ain't really paying much attention. I mean, it's pretty big if a Black… Wow, Barack! The nigga's name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain't his fuckin' name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, "Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit" [laughs] "That ain't your fuckin' name." Your momma ain't name you no damn Barack.

So you're not following the race. You can't vote right?

Nope.

Is that why you're not following it?

No, because it's just—it doesn't matter. They're gonna do what they're gonna do. It doesn't really make a difference. These are the last years. But it would be pretty big if we had a first Black president. That would be huge. I mean, I guess…. What, they gon' give a dog a bone? There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should've done that shit a long time ago, we wouldn't be in the fuckin' position we in now. With world war coming up right now.
They done fucked this shit up then give it to the Black people, 'Here you take it. Take my mess.'

- - - DMX plans to release a pair of new albums later this year, both Walk With Me Now and You'll Fly With Me Later will arrive through Bodog Music.


Hugzzz Dahlings,


angryasiancookie.in.dc@gmail.com

Comment on my post from the author

The author wrote me back, You can read his response. I think we should all buy his book. Sometimes the truth is hard and painful, but I appreciate the truth above everything else [can you hear the Aries girl talking ...]




Comment on my previous blog post: http://angryasiancookie.blogspot.com/search/label/Chocolate

Thank you for writing I appreciate the conversation.

If I understand your questions, you want to know how come you can’t be yourself in a relationship or how can you be your authentic self in a relationship, especially when you have feeling. In the first part you actually answered your own question.



“I feel unfortunate that I'm not a promiscuous girl. I wish I was, I wish I could jump from one bed or man into the other but that's not me. Not because I don't enjoy sex 24/7 but I don't feel it is me and the right thing to do. I have been in my life with less men then I can count on one hand Did I date and do I date”



Most women are like you they aren’t interest or don’t have the internal need to have multi sexual partners; whereas men instinctively do. We can analyze it 100 different ways. And at the end of the day men are men with basic needs and women are women. Both will behave based on their genetic makeup, which was encoded when caveman existed. Modern men behave are a new concept. The other point is that you being a mom and a female know what it feels like to love someone or something unconditionally.



The only person you can love unconditionally is your child and they are the only person or people you ever really know. You’ll only know your child until about the age of 13 – at which time they begin to have their own lives and secrets. Loving your child or a pet is different than loving a man… The difference being…



1. You don’t know the man you are with. And he doesn’t know you. I guarantee you both have secret that you’ll never share with each other. Even if the secret is something that you live out in your head, (maybe you want a threesome – maybe you want to be rich – maybe it’s a childhood experience that you would like to forget) whatever it is or whatever you want or need you aren’t going to share with you partner – for whatever reason.



2. We are all evidence of being conditioned by society. We are influenced by our parents, schools, friends, media, church etc. As a result we are insecure, live in fear, pain, doubt etc. So are the men you are dating are influenced and you have to know how to deal with these influences. I get it you don’t want to play game and that you want to love someone unconditionally.



The question is how can you love someone unconditionally who is conditioned? When you go to work do you show up as your authentic self? When you don’t want to be bothered do you tell your boss… f*** off? When you go to your kid’s PTA, school meeting or play dates do you show up as your authentic self? No we all play the game to get the job done. We all put on the happy face at work. If we don’t we all be fired etc. Do you think Oprah, David Letterman, Leno likes every guest!!!!



When children come into the world they arrive as their authentic selves, until we as parent stomp that idea. Kids in school can’t be their authentic selves because we encourage them with unrealistic expectation. For example – most parents have the same grade objective which is for their kids to get straight A’s. I’ve never heard a parent say get straight B’s or mix it up with A’s B’s or C’s. Have you? When we tell our kids to get straight A’s aren’t we teaching our kids to be their authentic selves we are teaching them to play a game. Not all kids love history or math equally. Your child might love math, therefore get an A.





The men you are or have dated were at one time in grade school they too were told to get straight A’s. The point is we are all conditioned by our influences. Unfortunately we can’t walk through life being our authentic selves 100% of the time and in 100% situations; relationships are one of those area. Ironically, when a man shows up being his authentic self and adores you unconditionally you aren’t interested. You’ll call him boring or needy. Very few people want someone to drown them in unconditional love and attention. We all like the chase. I hope this makes sense…








Written by the author of http://www.ifyoulikechocolateeatchocolate.blogspot.com





It does make sense but does it mean that even if we say or feel we want to be loved unconditionally that we don't really grasp the consequences of unconditional love? If I read the author's response correctly we want to be chased and not smothered. I like to be chased but ultimately I want unconditional love from a masculine man. I desire a man who still loves his football, has his boys night out, do his own things but loves me unconditional. Roooaaar, men are so complicated uhhhh. I agree with the author regarding the unconditional love for my child and the conditions and dynamics of our society. A great book is written about that topic: the Monster convenant by Carolien Roodvoets. Everyone who is interested in these dynamics and how it defines our personality and relationships, it is a must to read!
Meanwhile, I'm taking of my bunny suit and go out again for a walk. I'll join the dogs in the park barking because I still sound like dog or a smokin' sailor uhhhh








Hugzzz Dahlings,


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